Fret

This morning: woke up at 7am to the texts of the boy halfway across the world, did devotions, went for a run at 8am, came back, showered, watched Wipeout and moped a bit (because it reminded me of him), sent a couple of emails around to NUS + ACS (long complicated story), couldn't stop the glee when I found out Z was online, skyped him for 45minutes, went to Clementi library and hauled back 6 books, dropped by Subway for lunch (which also reminded me of him). There is a lot of stfucoupledom here but I really can't help it. I'm just glad for Skype and technology. And holding on to the hope that God will bring us back together in about 30 days.

It's an odd realization to think back and see that a month ago, IB exams hadn't even started. It feels like much longer ago. I think the only reason why I'm not feeling a post-IB void of nothingness is because Z's also away and that emptiness has overwhelmed the emptiness of my schedule. Of course, there's also the minor issue that my schedule isn't exactly empty either - applications, interviews, worrying about things. Though this morning I was reminded that "Who of you can add a single hour to your life by worrying?" (Luke 12:25) and so I'm really trying my best to fight all these insecurities and paranoia. Looks like I'm slipping back into the teenage angst ha ha ha.

For now, I think the best way to get away from all of that is to keep myself busy... it's when I'm idling that all these fears creep up on me and then I feel intensely lonely without my bb around :( So this afternoon I pledge to just do some quiet reading and not think too much. Which is kinda of self-contradictory but there's a way to do it, I think.

Today's haul! (: