Real

Spent about 30 hours out of the house over the past two days and I must say prom was quite highly enjoyable despite moments of ennui - it was fun seeing what everyone was wearing and going around taking pictures and sitting at the same table as my beloved Z and the food was pretty good too! Didn't go for the clubbing kind of post-prom but had a quiet private little post-prom celebration of our own with Pirates of the Caribbean 3 that lasted late into the night/morning. The rest of the night/morning was a blur of things but it was all in all a pretty fun experience and I truly feel it marks the end of youth or something ha ha. My teenage existentialist angst is far from over, apparently.

On other things I was/am very emotionally trainwrecked at the moment and my heart feels like it's being torn asunder and I don't really know what to do, or think, about any of it. I feel like all I can do now is to throw myself into my work (applications, research, reading) because at least that will distract me from everything else. And I guess aggravating everything is the fact that the one person who can put his arms around me and make me feel like everything is okay is the one person whom I won't see for the next 35 days. And I know this is only the beginning because we'll have a lot more separations to deal with in the future but it still hurts, hurts, hurts like mad.

:(