Watchnight service last night with Z was - even more resonant than I expected. It seemed that so many of the battles I thought I'd been facing on my own were just laid bare during the sermon and I realized that I was far from alone in this. And I think it got me out of my self-pity, till now at least, and I'm truly grateful for that. Being there with Z also helped because I can always count on him to be my strong support, my foundations, my comforter; and it was really nice to spend new year's together with God and Z.
Today was another fairly lovely day as I went for service and then went prawning with Z and his sister and her boyfriend, and it was light and relaxing and took my mind off things which was necessary, I think... And prawning was really quite fun hehe Z and I make quite a good team! Then family gathering at my granddad's house and it was nice too especially with the presence of my baby cousin who greatly amused herself by dragging each relative individually into a line formation to play "choo choo train".
I guess my current state of uncertainty is due to a mixture of emotions that I cant even separate very well. I've a lot of unfounded fear, I think, and a bit of confusion and being lost and generally my tendency to overthink things doesn't really help haha. In any case, I know these feelings are unfounded. I know - with my head - that God will provide (not always what we want, but always what we need) and I just gotta keep reminding myself of that. Jehovah-jireh!
The world remains a question - that excites me, alarms me. I am fearful but optimistic (:
1 comments:
"Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." - Proverbs 4:26
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." - Psalm 119:105
Hope you're having a good (God-filled) 2012 :) we should really catch up! Take care Karmz.
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